Birthdays Without You

On Sept. 1st, Jared sat by me and asked me what we should do for my birthday. And just like that, I started crying. Every day since we’ve reached September, I knew these days were coming. My birthday today. Dave’s birthday two days later. Just two days apart, we celebrated them together as kids and as adults (forget the teens…we were annoyed by each other then).

And, now I’m supposed to do what exactly?

Here are a few of our past birthdays that we celebrated together.


Sept. 2007


Sept. 2009


Sept. 2013

Last year, I was in Virginia and Dave was in Texas, so as a poor substitute for having fun celebrating together, we sent each birthday message on via text and Facebook.

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“Bruderherz” literally translates to “brother-heart” and is a ridiculously cheesy, old-fashioned German term to refer to a beloved brother. Whenever I wanted to annoy Dave (so, very regularly), I’d tease him by calling him that in a super-irritating voice. Reading my silly Facebook note, black on white, and understanding that not six months later he would be killed hurts beyond imagination.

We never know when our time is up, so the only thing we can do is to love and care for the ones who are important to us. Laugh with them. Cherish them every day.

Love you, Dave. I know you knew that.

3 thoughts on “Birthdays Without You

  1. Mary Jane Farlow Pearson says:

    I think of Officer Hofer’s loved ones often as all the ‘firsts’ come and go. My heart wishes and my prayers go up that you keep celebrating, even if the celebration is a ‘poor substitute’. Even if is only a drink of Fireball alone………even if it takes awhile….. I truly believe your brother will find a way to communicate he loves you too and is with you at your birthdays and throughout the year. Don’t let anyone or anything take your happy memories away. For the tiny bit it is worth there is a sister of a (retired) Police Officer who prays for you often.


    • ForHofer says:

      thank you for your thoughts and prayers. my hubby and i took your suggestion and had a Fireball in his honor. it was a difficult day, and tomorrow will be as well, but i’m looking forward to spending Dave’s birthday with our families, blood and blue.


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