This is part 7 of a longer note I received from Bryan R. about the Dave’s “humorously paradoxical lifestyle” as Bryan so nicely put it. For related posts see: Part 1; Part 2; Part 3; Part 4; Part 5; Part 6.

“I’m not sure I have ever met a man as pale as Dave.  I’m not even sure I’ve seen nor heard of his feet touching the sand on a beach.  Yet somehow Texas stole his heart.  “Dude, it’s sick.  The complex I live in has a giant pool and chairs to sit on and get your tan on.”

Dave drove slower than the elderly, yet that didn’t stop him from buying a speedy Volkswagen sports car.  “Bro, this thing flies.  Turbo speed is the best.”

He had a habit of pinching his male-friend’s chests, just to annoy them.  God forbid anyone ever try returning the favor.  “ooWWWW!” That drawn-out, over-exaggerated yell, with a, “Dude stop, you’re being annoying!”

~Bryan R., NYPD